Let's Talk UNLV

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KU NV studios on public radio K, u and v 91.5. The

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content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 Jazz and more the University of Nevada Las Vegas or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.

Unknown Speaker 0:27
Welcome to another episode of Let's Talk UNLV

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on K U N. D 91.5. I'm your co host, a Alisha and your co host, Tanya. excited, super excited. And today we're joined by ask Quinn. I couldn't put your last name.

Unknown Speaker 0:46
Quinn as my left. Okay, there we go. You got it. We're joined by as Quinn. Ash Quinn works over at service learning and leadership. And Ash is going to tell us their origin story. So ash, would you tell us how did you come to this work? And what brought you to UNLV?

Unknown Speaker 1:03
Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. I've been at UNLV for a while now. I did my undergraduate and my master's here. I started my undergrad back in around 2011 2012. I got my bachelor's in psychology. During that time, I was very involved in campus with housing as a resident assistant, I worked in the Student Diversity Programs Office, and kind of just in different areas within student affairs, continued on with my master's in social work, where I was still working with student diversity. And then I started getting more involved with service learning and leadership, the office that I've worked in now. And my official program now is the hope Resources program that the one I oversee it to basic needs initiative on campus. And I really just came into the work kind of inspired by everything I've been doing on campus and the different communities I've been working with very centered on social justice, advocacy, providing students with support. And it all just built up over the years. So I love the office that I work in. I'm known the colleagues in different capacities over the years. So kind of how I got to where I am now.

Unknown Speaker 2:12
And I'm so glad you're there. I'm so glad you're here, as I was sharing earlier, you have been a tremendous resource and so helpful for our students. So part of the reason that we have ash on today is where we'd like to talk about this thing that is National Coming Out Day, coming up soon. Coming up soon. So a quick Google search helped me to understand a little bit a bit more about the background. And according to the powers that being a National Coming Out Day was started in 1988, by Robert Eisenberg and Gene Alarie, Ike Berg, passed away from AIDS. And he was also a psychologist from New Mexico and the founder of the personal growth workshop, the experience. And O'Leary was an openly lesbian political leader. So I you know, up until recently, I had not even recognized that that was an event, which, you know, speaks volumes around the promotion of that particular event. So, can you tell me a little bit about why it's important for that day to exist.

Unknown Speaker 3:16
So National Coming Out gay is really just an opportunity to provide visibility to the LGBTQ plus community. And when we're thinking about the erasure of the community has faced in history and media, just in representation, the opportunity to be able to come out and find that community support is incredibly needed for honestly can save live, being able to connect with other community members and find the resources that you need. We think back to a lot of the history like you shared, surrounding somebody who is experiencing HIV and AIDS. And kind of not really being able to be out and access to those resources is a major barrier, right? So National Coming Out Day is an opportunity to show that we exist as well as find your community, and also just gain that validation that you don't need to be out. Or maybe you're unable to come out. So finding that validation within the community can be helpful as well.

Unknown Speaker 4:25
You know, it's so funny that you mentioned the ratio, because that was one of the things that was notable to me that this has existed since 1988. And it has not been something that's more publicly known. You know, it's almost like an invisible day that members of the community are aware of, but the larger community should be aware of.

Unknown Speaker 4:45
Yeah, absolutely. When we think about the LGBTQ plus community, we often just think of June for Pride Month. October is also LGBTQ plus History Month, which is why you know, we celebrate Pride in October because one too hot in June for, for Las Vegas to celebrate last, yes. Also thinking of when students are round, really focusing on that History Month component, and there's so much history within the community. So it's, it's really great that as a campus community, we can come together and not just celebrate Coming Out Day, but also all of the history and all of the pride events.

Unknown Speaker 5:22
I love that. And the ideal is that really, this is a space where as you can really inform listeners, such as myself and others, who may not be enlightened about certain terminologies and the differences of things of or usage when it comes to the community. So what is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity, because most people speak is there, as one I know, I've been guilty of speaking as one. So just for those who are listening, what's the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity.

Unknown Speaker 5:53
So when we're talking about sexual orientation, that is one attraction, and that can be sexual and or romantic towards other people. And that, that the spectrum it can be fluid, there's a lot of terminology within that umbrella. And when we're talking about gender identity, that's an identity that someone assigned to their gender, which can have a lot of factors to it, cultural factors, or intersecting identities can be a factor with it societal factors, it's really just how one relate to their gender that could be man, woman, non binary, transgender is also an umbrella spectrum, it can also be fluid, something that when we're talking about terminology, I always like to share with others that his language changes, you're probably not always going to know all of the terminology or it may fluctuate, I really think just being able to respect identities, and kind of understand the umbrella terms can be really helpful when, when working with LGBTQ plus individuals and supporting them and providing that ally ship.

Unknown Speaker 7:02
I love it. Because I was actually going to say that, you know, things are forever evolving and changing. And so the key word that you use was being able to respect you know, and so if I make a mistake in regards, how do I dress a person, I want to make sure that they feel that it's not from a malicious place. It's just knowledge, and also still learning and adapting, you know, to the thing, you know, the current society we're in yet, but the most important thing I want them to feel respected and to be seen. So thank you, that was really, really good.

Unknown Speaker 7:33
You know, you know, as we were talking about gender and sexual identity, I know that some of the stories that I've heard, and some of the things that I've heard is that figuring out who you are, in terms of your personhood is a very deeply personal journey. So how did you come to understand who you are in all of the facets of self in terms of your identity in terms of your gender? What was that process like for you?

Unknown Speaker 7:56
Yeah, so I am queer and trans, non binary. And I used very broad term because to be honest, there's still aspects of my identity that I'm exploring and still solidifying. I think the biggest piece for me is just knowing that it's okay if it's going to change and I'm still exploring it. But growing up, I didn't really have a space to comfortably floor, my my gender or my sexual identity. I didn't really feel safe doing so I didn't feel supported doing so. So it wasn't until I got to college, my undergrad that I found some community spaces that really encouraged me to be my authentic self to really know that it's safe. And it's okay for me to question things for me to explore things that started with once I moved on to campus, and I got involved with spectrum, which is the undergraduate LGBTQ plus student organization. I'm currently the faculty advisor for that group. So I love that they're still around. But finding that community because they opened it up to allies, and they opened it up to those who are questioning and when I wasn't sure of where I fit under the umbrella that was comfortable for base for me to meet with others to build those connections to get that education. And in the community. I also was able to find support for about seven years during my undergrad into my master's, I performed with the Rocky Horror cafe here in Las Vegas. It was a really great experience because the lovers, the movie really encourages you to think about the movie is a pinnacle for the LGBTQ plus community. So being in those community spaces and playing roles where I was experimenting with gender and were being more both to various attraction possibilities was enormous for me to build those friendships. And those are friends that I still have today really close friends that were still able to have these conversations. And that was kind of what crystallized my identity for me and really made me think that a lot of the experiences I had growing up were some I find that okay, maybe I'm not straight, maybe I'm not cisgender. And really feel safe and exploring that and really just get involved in the campus community as well as the Las Vegas community and build those connections.

Unknown Speaker 10:13
You know, the thing that you said that resonated with me is this idea of evolution and evolving, right? Like, it's okay, it's okay to figure out who you are, you don't have to necessarily pick a box, and say that this is the box that I'm gonna be in forever. And you have permission to figure out who you want to be versus who you're told to be. So I love that idea that you're consistently evolving, you're learning about yourself, you're learning about your relationships. So that that is, that's wonderful to me.

Unknown Speaker 10:44
Yes. And that was big for me being able to try pronouns for a bit. And if I realized that they didn't fit me, then that's fine. I can change my pronouns and work that out with the people closest to me in my life. thing was when I was changing my name, I did a legal name change a few years back now. And I spent about six months to a year just playing with different names to figure out which one fit because I knew that the names that I was assigned at first didn't fit me. So I was playing around and figuring out what worked best for me. And yeah, that that's a big thing for people to just know that it's okay to try it for a little bit and change your mind.

Unknown Speaker 11:20
I love to ask what kinds of things my field g bt Q person experienced when deciding to come out? I know you mentioned at the top of the box, the broadcast that it can be life changing in regards to acceptance, or someone being able to come out. So what are some of the things that people may experience when they decide to come out.

Unknown Speaker 11:40
So coming out is a very personal journey, and there's, there's a lot to it right? On one hand, there can be pressure to come out, there can be a lot of fear, a lot of a lot of confusion. And on the other hand, for some, it may be a relief. But coming out isn't just a one time event is coming out. Sometimes that means that you're coming out continuously for the rest of your life, coming out to family, to friends, to co workers in different social spaces. So it can look different for everyone. And I do really want to attack on that validation piece that it is completely okay to not come out at all if you want to keep that personal to yourself. And you don't really owe anyone your identity. Right. So I think it just so multifaceted, coming out love

Unknown Speaker 12:28
a you don't owe anyone your identity. I love that is powerful. So powerful, only one

Unknown Speaker 12:35
entity, it is not about their needs, it's about your need to do what feels right for you.

Unknown Speaker 12:40
And we talked on another podcast, most recently, we were talking about some of the pressures and how people can pressure you into making this decision or to expressing yourself. But you're telling us today that the person has the right to decide, maybe they want to keep that in, as you know, for the rest of their life. They don't have to broadcast or to actually come out. It can be a personal decision. It should be a personal decision, I think is what I hear you saying? Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 13:05
I'm particularly impressed with this notion that that choice follows you all the way throughout, you can choose how you can choose when you can choose f, yes. Which is which is empowering. And it gives you back some of your sense of identity, because you don't belong to someone else you belong to you first. So I really, truly appreciate that notion. So for your process, I know that you said that, you know growing up there were challenges in terms of being feeling safe and validated in the spaces that were that you were in. How did you come to the side? What were some of the things that you considered, as you decided to show up in these places and spaces as your authentic self.

Unknown Speaker 13:48
For some of the pieces for some of the groups where I came out, a lot of it was that pressure piece, especially with my family, I kind of felt that at the time, I felt like I owed it to them. And not just that, but I felt like coming out with a big step in ensuring that they respected me and they use the correct name, the correct pronouns. So it was really just an opportunity to bridge that gap and ensure that our relationship could continue that they would see me the way that I want them to see me was family that didn't really work out. So we cut off ties. And that was a healthy boundary that I ended up setting. And it took a few years for me to get there. But in other spaces. When I came out, it felt more like a connection piece that felt more similar to like sharing an interest, right? Like, oh, you're in the community, too. I'd love to share with you that I am because now we have this connection. And now we have this relationship where we can talk about this and we can vent about it and we can, you know, work with each other about resources or just, you know, building upon that friendships. So I've kind of had both ends of the spectrum. Some of it was really rooted in that fear. And on the other hand, a lot of it was just rooted in euphoria.

Unknown Speaker 14:58
So fear versus coming In a day, yes, it sounds like in some ways it helped you grow in and other ways that it caused rifts in places that you know you hadn't realized that. And then by the way, I don't know. And you and I have never talked about this, but I'm a big fan of the B word boundaries. I'm a big fan of she really is I am. I'm a big fan of protecting yourself. And sometimes you need to protect yourself from both people who are maybe even DNA related to you,

Unknown Speaker 15:27
that took a deep breath when Ash said, the acceptance part didn't work. And so you all sever ties, and I'm just sitting here thinking, you know, how courageous and how fearful that has to be to make a decision that I choose me, you know, even outside of this topic, it just brings so much more awareness, even for me that sometimes that's the hardest decision to make, you know, to the people that we consider our bloodline or you know, our heritage, that we've come from, that you made a decision to choose you. I can't even really fathom, to be quite honest, you know,

Unknown Speaker 16:03
it is hard to it took me a few years, and I realized that it was just really impacting my mental health, with having to constantly advocate for myself. And I felt like I shouldn't have to constantly advocate to myself with those who I considered a support system. And if they were really a support system, I shouldn't have to keep hurting my mental health, to interact with them as a baseline.

Unknown Speaker 16:26
There's a great Brene Brown quote that says that I'm good boundaries are loving yourself, even when we risk disappointing others. It's the courage to love yourself, even when you risk disappointing others.

Unknown Speaker 16:39
I love that. And my goodness, whoever's listening to the call today can maybe identify even maybe they're in a situation where they have recently come out and not received the acceptance and, you know, constantly maybe even advocating for themselves wanting their loved ones, not the we're encouraging, you know, disunity, or you know, separation. But when it comes to the key word that you said was your own mental health and well being. Sometimes, you know, you can hear on the other line that, hey, we have a person sitting here being interviewed today, that not only has made the decision but thriving. And I'm not saying you, you know, don't have moments of you know, longing for certain loved ones or relatives, but you're doing really, really well. And you're inspiring, empowering other people. So I really hope whoever's listening today, if that may be the case, where you can really hear real life that this person hasn't gone through the same, if not similar, and come out on the other side. So kudos to you for that Ash. Good. So now, we're still talking about acceptance. So just said, weigh in on that. How do you see more or less acceptance of LGBTQ in society? I know that many people on the outside will say we've come a long way. And you know, we're doing so many great things in society. But do you still or see and experience that there's not a lot of awareness and acceptance in our society?

Unknown Speaker 18:00
It definitely does feel that way. Still, unfortunately, I think there's a few pieces to it. But I think especially right now, where we are politically, there's a lot of legislation being passed that very anti trans anti LGBTQ, which is purifying left, I look, there's at least 500 policies that are brought up to legislation across the United States, which is really terrifying, especially when you think how it impacts minoritized populations within the LGBTQ plus community. And I think that's where we have a long ways to go. When we think about cisgender gay and lesbian white individuals, there's, while there's still barriers, there's more barriers with those who are trans with those who are people of color with those who are indigenous with those who are disabled, you know, all of these intersecting identities, and we still have a long way to go, especially in those community areas. Even within the community, sometimes I see spaces, it's a very common topic. When you think about pride basis, the pride parades, there's a lot of pride spaces that aren't accessible to a lot of areas of our community. Oh, really. So there's a lot of when you think around Pride Month, a lot of activities that are very focused on bars or drinking that are inaccessible for use or for those who are trying to abstain from those activities or when you think about activities that are very focused on being able bodied or some that are just very whitewashed. So I think we still have a long way to go with that, which is very disheartening. I know there's a lot of activism in the community to really push past past all of that. And I think that's going to be an ever evolving piece until we can all kind of unify and especially remembering the roots and remembering with the Stonewall riots and a lot of what led us to our LGBTQ plus right today. were inspired by black trans women of color. And I think that goes back to that eraser that once we move past that erasure of history and of representation, we can see who all isn't at the table that we really need to bring back.

Unknown Speaker 20:15
So is it safe to say that you said you would say that we've made some strives, and our society has come to a certain point, but we're not quite there yet?

Unknown Speaker 20:24
Yes, absolutely. I think it feels like every time we take a few steps forward, there's a few steps back. So we still have a ways to go. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 20:34
You know, the thing that's most striking to me is when you talked about pride month versus LGBTQ history, and and the thing that that, I guess, is striking about that, is that, you know, we all assume or not that we all assume that the ways in which diversity is handled oftentimes in this country, is we've done our part. Yes, you have a month. Right. Thank you. You're welcome. We've done our part now. And that the information and the history and the needs don't aren't limited to a one month, you know, yes. It's not like, Oh, yes, well, this is a month, we concentrate all of our focus on LGBTQ and the rest of the year, we're fine. So you're seeing you're talking about those gaps, that I'm also seeing, and like, oh, well, so this version of how we acknowledge it doesn't even take into consideration the full breadth and depth of the population that it encompasses. So it falls short in those ways? Um, I, there's a question in there somewhere. So the question that I have for you is, is how can we elevate the conversation? And how can we elevate the ways in which we support our LGBTQ populations? Like what does support look like? Or what should it look like in the larger scope,

Unknown Speaker 21:50
I feel like I've always advocated one of the key pieces is just continuing that education and awareness, just being aware of the ever evolving needs of the community and how that's going to vary regionally or by community, and get the ensuring that those voices are being heard. And that when we're doing advocacy work, we're amplifying those voices, as compared to assuming what the needs are. And assuming what, what ways we should be supporting this community. And just really listening and bringing those voices to the table. It pride in having celebration to the big piece. And at the same time, we still need to work on providing more resources surrounding healthcare surrounding gender affirming clothing, options surrounding housing, and a lot of those pieces that are really impacting the community.

Unknown Speaker 22:49
So it's bigger than just the parade.

Unknown Speaker 22:51
Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 22:53
What I'm hearing you say, so let's say that we have a listener out there who has a person in their life who is LGBTQ and they want to be able to support them. What is a good avenue of support? Is it contributing to specific causes? Is it marching? Like what how would you what's the best way to support someone in the LGBTQ community for someone who has a relationship with someone in the community, which is probably a lot more people may know.

Unknown Speaker 23:22
And on that note, I think, for me, at least, the biggest piece is letting them know that you're there and that you support them. I know that something I've experienced in the community is not knowing who I can safely go to. And when I'm experiencing some sort of need, or when I'm looking for support, that's another barrier of do I have to come out to this person to feel safe? How much of myself do I have to move just to get the resources that I need? Are they someone that how are they going to respond to me? So really, just being able to affirm to those who, who you love and to your community, that you are a safe space for them to access to vent to, to open up those conversations and to break down those barriers?

Unknown Speaker 24:12
You know, this, this idea of safety, I think is really underlying the message of coming out, right? Yes. Is Am I safe? Will I be safe? Are you safe? What will it cost to have this conversation with this person? And what I hear you saying is that if you know that there are people with whom you can be safe, that's a big deal. That's a really, really big deal. Even more so than say, Yo, I'm going to donate it, write a check. You know, I'm actually going to stand with you. And I'm going to stand by you and I'm going to support you, and I'm going to defend you.

Unknown Speaker 24:50
Yes, and that's what we need. And I know I bring a lot of personal experience with that and especially in the work that I do, but just knowing the risks of housing insecurity and the risks of For valence and some of the other pieces, it's really key to know what your safe bases are.

Unknown Speaker 25:07
Yeah. You know, on that note, so can you talk about what are some of the resources that UNLV has around safety, and around access and around just being able to be supportive for the LGBT community? I know you mentioned spectrum. But I'm, I'm sure that there are other resources as well that students can tap into.

Unknown Speaker 25:27
Yes, so we have quite a few. So when it comes to the social side of things, we do have some student orgs, we have spectrum. And I believe the graduate graduates do students are creating their own organization. We have the gender care team, I think that's one of the bigger one that not a lot of students know about that they can go to the health center and access gender affirming care, ranging from mental health care to accessing hormone therapy, letters for surgery, some of those pieces. And then just with programming, we do have student diversity programs, which is transitioning, they now have a lounge on the first floor of the Student Union that students are welcome to go into. So that the space for them to connect with others. So I think those are some of the bigger resources that I see on campus, we do have Stonewall sweeps, which is an LGBTQ plus floor in housing. So a great way to be in community while you're living on campus. And I feel like we're constantly working towards new resources on campus as well. And we're always listening to students if they have ideas, or if there may be something that we didn't think about.

Unknown Speaker 26:43
Thank you so very much for this conversation. And thank you so very much for coming here. So I'd like to give you the final word, is there something that you would like to leave with our listeners, before we go?

Unknown Speaker 26:56
I'd say just really, Pride Month is right around the corner for Las Vegas in October for students listening to really feeling affirmed and empowered to get involved in the events that are upcoming to find the spaces and the resources that we have. And I really just want to leave with that note of feeling empowered.

Unknown Speaker 27:20
Thank you. And thank you so much for giving us of your time. And

Unknown Speaker 27:23
thank you so much for having me.

Dr. Renee Watson 27:27
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai